takes focus and strong
determination to know
that you are before
everything that appears,
even the silence

I would like to share this
writing by Sharrie James
from the Florida sangha

Standing in Truth

I will not return to lies and untruths just to be whats expected of me. All I want is the truth of who I am and nothing else. This is what serves me on the deepest level. It honors the truth of who I am and sets the little me free.

The little me who is the locked up personality that lives in the box of confinement with rules, and guidelines, and expectations that changes constantly, is true insanity. I am no longer choosing to live this way under the influence of lies and concepts.

I am letting go of it and watching it float away because I now know that I don’t need these insane ideas to stay afloat. I don’t need to anchor myself to anything especially not in these ever changing emotions and events. When I let go, the truth rises up and meets me right where I am.

The letting go has to happen over and over again in each moment as new thoughts and emotions come up. Clinging wants to happen as each thought or emotion arises because its an unconscious learned pattern that I respond automatically to. There is this unconscious need to cling to the safety of something, anything, an idea, a concept, a belief, anything but this is what keeps me stuck in the drama of it instead, because all this drama draws my attention to itself and I become identified with it. I then believe that this must be who I am. This confusing mess of ever changing things.

The truth is that its the letting go that frees me. The opposite of what I naturally want to do. The letting go each time, in each moment, that allows me to see. These ideas, events, beliefs or even opinions constantly arise and if I allow each one to float by and I do not cling but watch instead. I begin to see clearly that this is not me. This is something happening outside myself that I the person identify with and have believed this to be me. But now it’s seen clearly that none of this who I am.

The truth of who I am, oneness, is there in the midst of all this, watching, This presence watches the clinging or if I choose the letting go and it has no agenda, no desire for change it is just aware present stillness, that rises up to meet me once I choose to let go in each moment. As this presence meets me whatever I have just witnessed outside myself goes by. As I watch from this place I am able to see that I am not what’s happening outside myself. I see that life is happening and I am the watcher of it.

That watcher, awareness or presence is who I AM. That’s where the attention needs to be placed inward, not outward. This presence arises in me through grace not effort. This is the knower, the truth, the experiencer of all and everything that happens, can happen or will happen. This is the creative force that ALL comes through.

The mind steps in and convinces me over and over again that it’s what’s real and not what’s felt in the background, not that steady omnipresent, stillness that remains rooted at the heart of everything. This creator or creative force is the true experiencer of it all.
This is GOD.

Of course the mind steps in and says who do I think I am to known that I can experience God directly, but I know it’s a yes yes yes, I can. That’s my truth and I am standing in this truth as it sets me free of everything. This is true liberation because there is a joining with God and the Self.

I am perceiving and God is experiencing through me the Self.

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